Devotees of The Wire worship at the altar of its creator, David Simon, an author, journalist and intellectual who revels in being called the “Angriest Man in Television.” Simon, who covered crime at the Baltimore Sun, uses his Twitter timeline as a short form editorial op-ed to debate Edward Snowden or go off on Donald Trump or to wax poetic about the dearly departed Prince. Expect more knowledge to be dropped when his latest HBO show, The Deuce, a 70’s drama about the porn industry in New York debuts in 2016.
Umberto Gonzalez aka El Mayimbe aka Ace Scooper is Hollywood’s Alpha Geek, dishing the dirt on all things fanboy, from who is directing the next Star Wars movie to what the hottest party at Comic Con will be. Never afraid of controversy, he’s been threatened by Marvel for legal action and labeled public enemy #1 by entertainment media outlets for repeatedly beating them to the BAM! POW! ZAP! (punch) of internet breaking scoops. The Queens native is also an avid menswear enthusiast, who defies the awkward Nerdist stereotype with a suave look that’s more Tony Stark than Peter Parker.
ESPN seems to be all catchphrases and Top Plays. If you want real sports journalism, follow this Stanford grad, who appears across the many ESPN platforms and always steals the show, not with snarky one-liners or outrageous takes, but old-fashioned reporting. Her in-depth profile stories on Ronda Rousey and the final days of Kobe Bryant’s career dug deeper than hero worship, while her breaking news crank up the 24-7 sports news cycle.
Often we ask ourselves, WTF was Kanye thinking when he does something, well, “Kayne.” The megalomaniac musical genius’ Twitter account is the closest thing we will get to looking inside his Beautiful (Dark Twisted Fantasy) mind. His Twitter rants against everyone from Wiz Khalifia to poor Beck are the stuff of internet legend. When he’s in a good mood (on his meds?) he’s just an ordinary guy, posting for selfies with his wife, making record recommendations (get the new ASAP Ferg) and boasting about being 50% more influential than Stanley Kubrick, Picasso and Pablo Escobar. Who are we to argue, Yeezy Season 3 was fire.
Chrissy Teigen has a mouth like a sailor and the body of a Sport Illustrated swimsuit model. The co-host of Celebrity Lip Sync is the kind of woman you dream about and guys like John Legend wifey up. You won’t find more “real voices” on Twitter where she speaks her mind on everything from cooking to vag smells, engages in celebrity feuds and us backstage commentary on meeting President Obama.
Better known by his Twitter handle, @Netw3rk, Concepcion is a former staff writer at Grantland (RIP), who has surpassed his former mentor, Bill Simmons, as the creme de la creme of sports shit talkers with fire emoji-worthy Tweets that are crushing the Twitter game. His live-Tweets of NBA games are more insightful and ridiculous than any TV game broadcast involving Doris Burke. You will be reading a lot more from him as he’s been game fully employed again by Simmons’ new venture, The Ringer.
Twitter has revolutionized stand up comedy and it’s the perfect place for comedians to test drive new material. Bearded god of hilarity (search “Kyle Kinane Cheddar Bay Biscuits” on Youtube) and the voice of Comedy Central, Kinane is one of the funniest in the game right now. His rants are legendary and he proves 140 characters is plenty of space to make you laugh so hard you piss your pants. Not a lot, but just a little bit.
Often the biggest sports stars have the worst Twitter accounts (Lebron James, Mike Trout) who come off sounding more like a public relations team than a real person. Maybe it’s because stars have a lot more to lose (endorsement deals, side pieces) than journeyman like Dodgers pitcher Brandon McCarthy, who is not a household name, but often lights up the Twittersphere with fresh tweets about sports, pop culture and politics. If he’s not teasing reigning AL MVP Josh Donaldson about his haircut then the currently injured right-hander is taking on disgraced World Series champion Curt Schilling about LGBT rights.
Parody accounts are Twitter’s gift and curse. For every @PrinceTweets4U there is a @Pharrel’sHat. Bill Murray would, of course, never be on social media, let alone have a Twitter account, but if he did it would probably look something like this fake namesake account, which is less a parody than a downright imitation, drawing critics who view it as plain identity theft. Still, there’s no denying that the snappy, irreverent quips on daily life tap into the Lost in Translation actor’s fucked up consciousness.
The music supervisor for such awesomely-tracked TV shows as Ballers, Entourage, How To Make It In America, and the freshest hip hop movie in years, Dope, Vener has an encyclopedic mind for music, wide-ranging tastes, and the twitter account to match. He alternates between dropping tips on unsigned indie and EDM artists, offering up fresh downloads, and supporting deep cuts from mid to late 90’s hip hop. If you’re a music fan, Vener is a must follow.