Treat Yo Self: The Black Friday Wishlist

Sure, many will be braving the hordes of bloodthirsty barbarians on Black Friday but don’t be shy, it’s time to think of yourself as well. “What do you get the man that has everything?” is a common refrain heard during the holiday season, which we always take as an excuse to get us “basic” guy gifts like a sports watch or a whiskey glass with cooling stones (a nice thought, but a lazy one). Sure, most of us will just go out and buy what we want, but there are things that we don’t know we need or just want, but don’t know how to ask for. With that in mind, we’ve curated a holiday wish list of some phenomenal must-haves whether you’re compiling a list for Santa or just going to “TREAT YO SELF”.

Nomad Wallet for Iphone
Cellphones are basically our digital wallets. Think about it. They store our personal information, contact numbers and pictures of our loved ones. The only thing a phone can’t hold is our expired condom from Spring Break 2010. Thus, it was only a matter of time before someone combined the two. The Nomad looks like a typical black leather wallet that your favorite uncle got you for eighth grade graduation. That is until you open it and discover a lithium-ion battery built-inside the folding spine. The SoC (System on Chip) microprocessor has an attached (Apple approved) three-inch cable that can charge your iPhone 6s. The Nomad is still thinner (.75 inches) than your uncle’s and has space for six cards (or 4 cards and that beat-up Trojan).

The Rap Year Book by Shea Serrano
Hip hop historian Shea Serrano breaks down the historical evolution of the genre by choosing the most important rap song each year from 1979 to 2014. The NY Times Bestseller bills itself as a yearbook, but is more like a DIY encyclopedia that reads like a graphic novel. Each song is discussed, debated and deconstructed with arguments, lyric maps (board game of Geto Boys “Mind Playing Tricks on Me”), diagrams (Excel pie-graph chart of Drake’s moods) to support Serrano’s (on fleek) claims with smart-ass rebuttals from his former colleagues at Grantland (RIP). It’s a hilarious and thought-provoking read that’s both irreverent, yet relevant, and a sure-fire conversation starter for those awkward holiday moments when you’re stuck on the couch with your teenage b-boy cousin, Yung Kippur.

Remote Control R2-D2 Mini Fridge
Fanboys celebrate the upcoming release of Star Wars Episode VII by watching the trailer on loop until their face melts like Emperor Palpatine in “Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith.” Real Jedi flick da wrist like Obi-Wan, summoning our own personal R2-D2 over to deliver a cold beer. This wirelessly remote-controlled fridge-droid “we definitely are looking for” is a full-scale replica of Luke Skywalker’s ride or die co-pilot (with all the sounds, lights and movements), but he’s also a mini-fridge that can chill a six-pack. Before you wave around your light saber with glee, take note young Padawan. The dark side to this Japanese-made product is the cost ($8,000). May the force be with you.

Pico Brew Zymatic
The last time you tried to brew your own beer it tasted like dog farts. Well, if at first you don’t succeed, you must brew again, but this time with the PicoBrew Zymatic. This fully-automatic home-brew appliance brews five-liter mini-kegs of fresh craft beer in around two hours using pre-made ingredient kits called PicoPaks. The Kickstarter-funded “Brew House in a Box” doesn’t take up much space and works kinda/sorta like a Keurig coffee machine: You pour in the PicoPak (which includes cult craft flavors like Pumpkin, Nut Brown), add water and five-to-seven days later, you’re officially a home-brewer. Well, not so fast, you still have add the yeast, ferment and carbonate yourself, but the beauty of the Zymatic is that it measures all the temperatures and times for you, plus you can seek help on PicoBrew’s website forums where you can trade recipes and wort stories.

Casper Mattress
The first thing most guys buy when they want to “adult” their crib is a couch, which is wrong because the magic happens in the bedroom, not the living room (unless you’re David Blaine). Like with all “adult” purchases, buying a mattress can be a panic attack waiting to happen, where you stress about spending a lot of money on something that equals a trip to Cuba. To make matters worse, the brand names all sound the same (Sealy, Serta, Simmons) and the showrooms are creepy with hairy-armed guys in short sleeves, ordering you to lay down, relax and close your eyes. Thankfully, this New York-based start-up, that’s been called the “Warby Parker of mattresses”, is changing the bed game with their design-savvy, three-layers of foam, 10-year warranty, tech-engineered mattresses that are delivered to your door. The mattresses come in six sizes (twin to Cal-King) ranging from $500-$950, plus if you get buyer’s remorse, there’s a 100-day trial period, where you can have the mattress picked up and get a full refund.

Whiskey Advent Calendar
This ingenious calendar from the Master of Malt is the gift that keeps on giving you a much-needed buzz to get you through the holidays. Behind each of the 24 calendar windows leading to Christmas, sit handmade and specifically-curated tasters of whiskey (50-year old scotch, award-winning Japanese whiskey) to start your day or end your nights. If whiskey isn’t your poison, pick from a line of bourbon, vodka, tequila, Mezcal, Cognac and Absinthe (seriously). Now that deserves a Hallelujah.

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