Man-To-Man: Break Ups - The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Let’s have a man-to-man chat, shall we? While apps and technology have made dating easier, the simple fact is that break ups never get any easier. Until they develop an Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind-style memory eraser app (WHERE YOU AT ELON MUSK?) we’ll just have to deal with it the old-fashioned way, man up and handle it. Every breakup scenario has its challenges and considerations whether you’re the dumper or dumpee. Let’s break down a few of the more common breakup tactics and determine, of course, the good, the bad, and the ugly of each of them.

Ghosting

The Good: The upside to ghosting is that it affords you the freedom of skipping out on complicated conversations. This is particularly effective for leaving a situation where emotions have run high and that have a tendency to reel you back into the bedroom before you can register what’s happening. It’s also an easy way to get out of a second date without having to explicitly explain why you’re declining.

The Bad: If you ghost out on a gal you can be certain that you’re going to hurt her feelings and/or confuse the crap out of her with your sudden disappearance. Real talk, ghosting is a coward’s way out. Real men sack up and deal with thing, not bouncing at the first site of rough waters. You’re better than that.

The Ugly: In addition to being a weak way out, ghosting is the type of thing that can get you a bad rep of immaturity. The dating world is a small place and hell, she might even blog about it and leave in just enough details that your hot neighbor can ID you. That’s a hard reputation to shake.

The Mutual Break

The Good: In theory, this option is like winning a year’s supply of whiskey or something...all gain. You’re finally free with no hard feelings, no pointless fights, no jealous ex to keep away from the next woman.

The Bad: Literally no one will ever believe that the breakup was actually mutual because it probably wasn’t. Landing a 50/50 split with no feelings whatsoever is like expecting that whiskey won’t give you a hangover just because it was free.

The Ugly: Even though you were willing to get out of the relationship, you also sort of got dumped at the same time. If you have any regrets or bad days you might begin a delayed process of relationship reflection that can pop up at very inopportune times.

The Break Up...With Benefits

The Good: Do we need to explain it? You’re single! But also getting laid!

The Bad: Let’s be honest, there are usually some feelings involved. Even in the rare (maybe impossible) circumstances where two people can’t stand to be with each other but like to have sex with each other possessiveness can still rear up and get ugly. It’s only a matter of time. That means being honest with yourself first and foremost, then with your partner and keeping an open dialogue going.

The Ugly: No matter how casual she’s acting, she’s going to be a little stung when you start to date someone else. Or extremely stung and turn into the raging angry ex…because she wasn’t really officially your ex until now. And what about the reverse? You’re out with your boys and you run into her on a date with someone else? Ouch. In the end, someone is going to get hurt eventually.

The Clean Break

The Good: Whether you're doing the dumping or you’re getting dumped, the definitive split can be pretty effective at putting to rest any hopes of rekindling so you both can move on faster. It sucks at firs,t but it’s like ripping off the band-aid. Ultimately, starting over with a clean slate is the easiest and healthiest thing to do.

The Bad: It’s never thrilling to be told your shortcomings, and even less so when you’re actually being punished for them. As the dumper, nothing feels colder than surprising someone with the fact that you just don’t reciprocate those loving feelings. Honesty and empathy is about all you can shoot for in this situation.

The Ugly: Getting dumped by an awesome girl just sucks. And it’s not like breaking someone’s heart is ever any easier, so really, it’s all ugly. All you can do is focus on staying positive and looking at the future ahead of you, the less complicated you make it for yourself, the better.