How to Make a Proper Toast

Making a proper toast...it’s an essential skill that every gentleman should be comfortable with. Public speaking can be daunting in and of itself, but throw in the responsibility of thoughtfully praising a person or commemorating an occasion? It can be a potential minefield fraught with danger, opportunity for embarrassment, and depending on your friends, years of ridicule. You’re lucky though, we’re here to help. Follow these few basic tips, crush that toast, and get ready to have compliments rain down on you like dollar bills on Rick Ross’s lady friends. Now take a few deep breaths, here we go...

Always Speak From The Heart
Without a doubt, the most important trait in any great toast is that it is spoken from the heart. You needn’t be overly dramatic or tearful, but, be genuine, be thoughtful, and let ‘em know you care. The ladies in attendance will take notice as well. Giving them a hint of possible tenderness underneath your manly outer shell is like catnip.

Be Funny...But Not Too Funny
This isn’t a stand-up routine and you’re not Louis C.K. (you aren’t are you?). A few clever lines or a funny story are plenty, don’t make it all about the jokes. Also, depending on situation (and the possible presence of children and the elderly) temper your level of inappropriateness accordingly. No one is saying make it clean but use some tact.

Keep It Short and Sweet
It might seem obvious, but keep it simple and short. No rambling, no long, boring stories, no tearful reminiscing, and no power point presentations (do we even need to say that?). A few minutes tops is what you’re shooting for. Don’t be afraid to rehearse it in the mirror.

A Little Liquid Courage
We know being in the spotlight can be nerve wracking, so go ahead, have a drink and relax. But be smart, you definitely don’t want to be that sloshed dude who ends up as the event laughing stock after embarrassingly getting the hook. Not cool.

Now that you’re confidence is swelling from killing that toast, how about you go chat up that bridesmaid that’s been giving you the eye all night? After delivering that speech, it seems easy, doesn’t it? You’re welcome.