Osweiler Gets Lasered
The only way "Brock Osweiler" and "lasers" get mentioned in the same sentence is when they get shined in his eyes, because he certainly doesn't throw them. In Monday night’s loss to the Raiders in Mexico City, a fan shined a green light in the Texans quarterback's eyes, and he tried making it sound like it played a small role in their losing and his inability to go downfield. Though Osweiler had one of his better games of the year, an early-game turnover and inability to move the chains in the fourth quarter led to their demise. They are just one game ahead in the weak AFC South and can feel the heat.
Kicker Fails Reach Epidemic Levels
What the fuck is going on with NFL kickers this year? One week after Blair Walsh was mercilessly and finally let go by the Vikings, 11 extra points were missed or blocked in Week 11 on Sunday -- a record for a single day in NFL history. The amazing thing is none of them belonged to embattled rookie kicker Roberto Aguayo for the Bucs -- who knocked through four field goals in the Bucs' upset of the Chiefs in Kansas City. Let's hope Aguayo's girlfriend is on birth control since he's knocking them through the uprights again.
Playoffs Not In The Cards?
Awful puns aside, one of the year's biggest surprise disappointments this season has been the Arizona Cardinals. Carson Palmer hasn't looked much like the guy that's helped carry them to the playoffs the last several seasons and as a team, they haven't been gelling. On Sunday, they lost to a Vikings squad that had been looking like garbage as of late. They gave up a pick-six and kickoff return for TDs, and you're not going to win many games that way. Still, Palmer and Co. had two separate chances to get the win down six points in the final few minutes and ended up just losing yards on those last two drives. We're not ready to stick a fork in them yet, but another loss might seal their fate.
Hot Seat Watch: Gus Bradley
Bills coach Rex Ryan is calling next week's opponent, the Jaguars, the "best 2-8 team of all-time." That's never a compliment you want to hear and if you're Gus Bradley, especially after dropping another loss to a hot Lions team on Sunday. For the second straight week, Blake Bortles threw an interception off one of his receivers feet. That’s not a joke, it really has been that kind of season for them and it doesn't look like it is going to end anytime soon. We'd be shocked if Bradley makes it to the finish line before getting shit canned.
Are The Giants Good Or Just Lucky As Hell?
In Ben McAdoo's first season as the Giants' head coach, they are a miraculous 7-3. Even crazier is that their margin of victory in those seven wins is just 27 points, the lowest in NFL history at this point in the season from a team with at least that many wins. Eli Manning has been playing well and their defense has been opportunistic behind a surprisingly dominant Landon Collins, who has picks in the last several games in a row.
Predictably The Tony Romo Death Watch Has Ended In Death
It's official, Tony Romo just got Drew Bledsoe’d. Rookie Dak Prescott has seized the starting quarterback job for Dallas for the foreseeable future. Dak only piled on in the win over the Ravens, going 27-for-36 for 301 yards and 3 touchdowns, moving Dallas to 9-1 on the year. We look forward to Romo's swan song, which will undoubtedly feature more miserable play for a struggling team like the 49ers or Jets next year.