Ruin Your Sunday: NFL Week 9

If Week 9 didn’t ruin your Sunday, there’s a good chance Election Day will. Let’s do this before the apocalypse hits, welcome back.

Da First Place Raidez
OK -- if there's any sign that hell has frozen over it's that the Raiders are in first place after they beat the reigning Super Bowl champions on Sunday Night Football. Let me say that again -- THE RAIDERS ARE IN FIRST PLACE. The last time Oakland was first place in the AFC West past the halfway point was their Super Bowl season in 2002. At 7-2, they are No. 2 in the AFC behind the Patriots. Could we see a Tuck Rule rematch in the playoffs? Raider fans might still have PTSD from that one. Who knows if Tom Brady would have become Tom Brady if it weren't for that bullshit rule that helped send them to the Super Bowl where they would complete their Cinderella story over the Rams.

Ma-ma-ma My Rabona
The Steelers lost to the Ravens on Sunday -- and not without some hilarity at the end of the game. Down a touchdown with little time left, Steelers kicker Chris Boswell attempted a soccer-style Rabona onside kick. Predictably, it went terribly and is guaranteed end up on one of those wonky NFL bloopers videos and on an endless loop on Sportscenter for the next few weeks. Cue the snarky Scott Van Pelt comments now.

Rams Caught A Case Of The Keenums
Let’s face it, if any other quarterback were performing as poorly Case Keenum were, especially given you’ve got a No. 1 draft pick on the bench behind him, he'd have been pulled by now. The Rams lost 17-10 to the struggling Panthers, getting their lone touchdown in the final minute when Carolina had all but phoned it in. What does that say about Jared Goff, who the Rams traded a king's ransom to draft with the No. 1 overall pick this year? Does this guy process playbooks the way a two-year-old would handle Harry Potter? Jeff Fisher keeps saying week after week that they didn't lose because of Keenum but at this point you’ve got to wonder what in the hell Fisher is smoking and where we all can get some of it.

What A Jag Off
Gus Bradley should have lost his job as coach of the Jacksonville Jaguars by now. As usual, they looked lost on offense Sunday against the Chiefs, falling behind multiple scores before mounting a half-assed comeback. Halfway through the fourth quarter they lost a fumble at the goal line and Blake Bortles looked like garbage in the first half. To add insult to injury, the Chiefs won with Nick Foles at quarterback. Pathetic.

From Dumpster Fires to Hot Streaks
The Miami Dolphins and Detroit Lions were left for dead by most of their fan bases after poor starts to the season. Miami has won three in a row and Detroit four of five to find their way back into playoff contention. Are these teams contenders or pretenders? Miami plays in the AFC East so they have to battle for a Wild Card spot, which seems unlikely with Ryan Tannehill's six-yard arm at the helm. Detroit has a clearer path to the playoffs being a half-game out of the NFC North. Minnesota has looked like garbage with their makeshift offensive line and Sam Bradford and Aaron Rodgers just lost at Lambeau to the listless Colts. We're gonna go ahead and predict Matthew Stafford and Co. win the division.

The Tony Romo Death Watch Keeps on Rollin'
Dak Prescott vs. the Browns: 21-for-27, 247 yards, 3 TDs. Elsewhere, Romo went to 7-11 and got a slurpee and some cheetos.