How To Slide Into The DMs Without Looking Like An Idiot

It seems like everything in our lives is connected to the Internet somehow, both for the better and the worse. While tech makes our lives more convenient, we're so connected to our devices that seemingly normal face to face interaction seems alien and uncomfortable. That’s where the art of the direct message (DM) comes into play. For all intents and purposes, the ultimate goal of the DM is to start a private conversation and to somehow convince the girl to give you a shot. If it sounds like dicey territory, you’re right, it is. But, with the right strategy and a little bit of luck, you can master your DM game and hit that stepback 3 pointer without breaking stride.

1. Play the numbers
Check the follower count when doing recon. If her follower count is in the thousands, leave it alone. Guaranteed she isn’t checking for yours or hundreds of other dudes trying to throw the D at her. 500 followers or less? You might have a chance at it. It’s a simple concept. There aren’t enough hours in the day for shorty to check every single penile offering. And there’s no real way for you to separate yourself unless you’re famous AF or have a mutual friend, so just stick to admiring her pics from afar and move on.

2. Reference a recent interest of theirs
If you notice a theme running through your crush’s account, make note of it and add it to your initial message to her. The start of a fruitful meetup in real life is a shared interest of some sort and not by faking the funk by Google searching her hobbies. Women can see the bullshit coming a mile away. Keep timing in mind as well, because mentioning a picture ole girl posted 89 weeks ago means you're a creeper and not to be trusted.

3. Be direct
You find her attractive and would like to link up, right? Well, find a nice middle ground message between an 800 word dissertation and the all-too simple, “Sup?” What’s “sup” is you getting blocked with a trademark Mutombo finger wag for offering nothing of substance with your first message. Don’t over think things either, initiate with a short joke, intro, and see where she takes it. Keep the humor classy and concise too. A joke that’s three messages long is not a joke worth telling at all. Remember to proofread messages too. Sometimes (all the time?) autocorrect is not your friend.

4. Keep it meaningful and polite
A meaningful conversation gets more attention than gym selfies, trust. The lead up to the elusive first date could take weeks, or even months. In that time, be yourself and don’t rush things. She could be the Mrs. Right that got away because your thirst cockblocked you. Dealing with potential suitors is more tedious than you think, so be considerate of her time. Just because she saw your message and took a few hours to reply doesn’t give you the right to fly off the handle and cuss her out. If she’s not feeling it, she’s not feeling it. Insulting her to preserve your shallow ego makes you a fuckboy and public enemy #1 to the rest of the single girls out there.

5. Match her vibes
Not every woman posting on social media publicly is supremely confident in her own skin. If she sends a wink, don’t one-up her by sending a splash emoji. Meet in the middle and over time let her come out of her shell. Even replying to your first message with a simple hello might have been a huge step in getting over potential shyness, so let her take the lead when it comes to being flirty. Avoid asking for risqué pics under any circumstances, a Yo Gotti mixtape this is not.

6. Suggest a low-key meetup
Meeting anyone off the Internet is scary as hell, whether she’s a random stranger or a friend of a friend. The lady you’re vying for needs to know there’s no pressure and that the first interaction will be in a public place, in case you’re an asshole. A small group meeting with no more than two of your friends in tow should do the trick nicely. This is where her interests come to mind. One of her favorite haunts could be the way to go, so that her bouncer friend could hit you with a Stone Cold Stunner in case you get too handsy. If she’s into it, initiate man law and have your friends play wingmen while you get to know her better and see where the night takes you. We can see you sinking that game winner already.