5 Keys for a kickass white elephant party

Holiday parties are a time for stealing. Look no further for verification of our claim than the infamous White Elephant party. Depending on the effort, these parties can be crazy lit, or crazy pathetic. Be the unfortunate bum who plans the shitty White Elephant party, and you۪ll be a social pariah, never to be considered for another turn up again. But, plan or attend in a triumphant manner and well, your legend will live on in history forever. Whether you۪re pulling out the stops at a boozy friend۪s get together or putting together a SFW style event, we۪ll provide the tips, you provide the good time, and everyone goes home happy. Sound good?

 

#1 - Dial It Up
Ugly sweater parties incorporated into the White Elephant gathering are the worst. Not because they۪re generally a recurring theme year after year, but because most people don۪t even bother trying. They just eBay the ugliest joints they can find and break it out the day of. Get everyone۪s creative juices flowing by forcing party attendees to DIY their own sweaters, and offering real of prizes for the winners. Or if you۪ve got the extra funds, buy a bucket full of supplies and have people construct their getups at the venue while boozing it up. It۪s a little more time intensive, so consider putting time restrictions on the contest. If it۪s just the squad over for the party, encourage shenanigans, sabotage, and hijinks. What are the holidays without a little bit of the Grinch coming out in everyone anyway? Shitty holidays, that۪s what.

#2 - Keep A Theme
When outlining the terms of the White Elephant gift exchange, set a dollar limit (both a minimum and maximum) immediately. Stingy motherfuckers will come through with the cheapest shit they can find just to say they contributed. After limits have been established, keep a curveball theme for the gifts at the ready. The wilder the better. Obscure liquor bottles, retro electronics, and, uh, risqu̩۝ items could be good starters. We۪ll let you figure it out on your own. So long as the most people are guaranteed something actually dope to take home, you۪ll be given credit as a solid party planner.

#3 - Don۪t Get Greedy
Everyone gets their favorites stolen if they wait too long. If you see something you like, jump on it immediately after the first steal gets initiated. In this case, we۪re saying settle for the first gift you see that you like. Hold out too long and you۪ll be disappointed. Finalizing steals before all of the gifts are unwrapped isn۪t the worst move to make. That honor goes to your boy who puked after one too many egg nogs last year. Amateur.

#4 - Be A Good Sport
In the unlikely event you get shafted on a good gift, be a professional. Shrug, chalk your L up to the game, and enjoy the rest of the festivities. There۪s literally zero need to be a dick about a gift you could have easily copped yourself. Nobody likes a sore loser, especially the fairer sex. A prospective upside would be the PYT you۪ve been too scared to ask out ends up stealing your swag. Instant conversation starter right there. BOOM.

Don۪t Re-gift, You Idiot
If your party attendees contain the usual suspects, don۪t re-gift a previous year۪s White Elephant gift. Spend some money and bring some new shit to the party for the benefit of everyone. Recycle cans, not gifts. And don۪t keep buying the same type of gifts year after year either. Predictability is gateway to being a basic bro.